just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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