It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
