Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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