how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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