very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
