All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Every concussion has its silver lining
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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