Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
