Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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