Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Dear god my vagina.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
