what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i think my mom watched the whole time
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
