I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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