My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
