i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
