Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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