how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
