Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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