How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
