If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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