Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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