Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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