i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
