and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
