Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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