Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
