I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
