i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
