I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
