Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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