Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
