i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
