I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Green mimosas i think yes
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
