I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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