I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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