i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
