what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
