I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
time to smoke my breakfast
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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