I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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