We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
