We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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