I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
