From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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