you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
