Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
