I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she told me i tasted like america
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
