Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
