If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
