I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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