One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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