ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
