Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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