she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
It was confusing and full of hummus
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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