He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
