I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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