winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize