We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
