Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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