His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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