Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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