Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
