wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
