I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
