where am i from again
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
