if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize